True Listening

True Listening

“We all have a perception of life experience which is unique to our own past and experience and memory. Essentially, we are all perceiving separate realities. We are all unique cultures with diverse points of view. In order to truly communicate with another we have to listen to their particular reality with respect and fascination, and then engage with them from understanding their vantage point. This is true dialogue. 

Dialogue is not talking as much as it is truly listening. 

Insight and rapport come from respectfully listening for understanding.

We have many blocks to listening. We all do. We “listen” until the other finishes talking so that we can say our piece, or we look attentive as we have judgmental thoughts, or we are thinking about what we will have for dinner, or we simply space out, or we experience boredom, etc., etc. 

The key here is to know that we all have ways in which we distract ourselves from listening, and that all of these “blocks” to listening are simply us listening to our own thinking rather than the thinking of the speaker! 

No matter, simply notice what is distracting you from being present with the speaker and clear your head of your own chatter and come back to listening with curiosity about how this person sees life. You will find that boredom disappears, and knowing the “right” thing to say occurs as an insight, and rapport deepens, and understanding deepens, and communication is effortless and creative and empowering.”

~ From: “Listening”, by Laura Basha, Ph.D., 2007

© White Bird Rising, 2013