"Access to Magnificence"

"A satisfied woman is a gift to her family, her friends, her co-workers and, frankly, to the world. A satisfied woman emits an energy field of love, play, power and well-being. Around her, other people have access to their own magnificence, their own genius, their own joy. Being committed to being satisfied is an act of courage and generosity."

~ Alison Armstrong

I have been waking up with feelings of overwhelm for some time. It seems to be a particularly familiar default setting when I feel overbooked. I really wanted to get to the bottom of this anxious feeling so I could let it go, because, honestly, I have a beautiful life of abundance in all areas.

So why did I feel like I didn't have what I wanted?

I was in a conversation this last weekend, and got some insight into the answer. So simple. I realized that I make these promises to myself, and then I don't keep them. Not exactly front page news, but, what occurred as an epiphany was the impact on me that not keeping my promises with myself had. What I saw was that when I make a promise: "I will begin the final edit on my book this Friday", and then I don't do it, very insidiously in the background a refrain of invalidating statements plays like a tape loop, and even though I may not be consciously aware of the noise of the tape, I am listening nonetheless, and the feeling is much more obvious to me: anxiety, frustration, dissatisfaction.

Of course I have often attributed this dissatisfaction to other issues in my life: family demands that could not be avoided, too tired, loneliness, etc. But what I saw was that there were no reasons for my dissatisfaction save the broken promises to keep my word with myself, which were always promises made in areas in which I really wanted to accomplish or participate. So simple ... Put it in my schedule and then actually do it! A great feeling of freedom and joy expands within even as I think of it.

So when I read Alison's quote this morning, I thought, the impact isn't simply on me, the impact is in and on my entire world. And I am committed to the ideal that all people are free from the past and generating lives of authentic self-expression and joy! Who knew the fulfillment of that seeming impossibility would be continually generated out of me eating well, sleeping enough, exercising and, oh yes - editing that book!

I am committed to being satisfied. How about you?
Onward!