True Listening
“We all have a perception of life experience which
is unique to our own past and experience and memory. Essentially, we are all
perceiving separate realities. We are all unique cultures with diverse points
of view. In order to truly communicate with another we have to listen to their
particular reality with respect and fascination, and then engage with them from
understanding their vantage point. This is true dialogue.
Dialogue is not
talking as much as it is truly listening.
Insight and rapport come from
respectfully listening for understanding.
We have many blocks to listening. We all do. We
“listen” until the other finishes talking so that we can say our piece, or we
look attentive as we have judgmental thoughts, or we are thinking about what we
will have for dinner, or we simply space out, or we experience boredom, etc.,
etc.
The key here is to know that we all have ways in which we distract
ourselves from listening, and that all of these “blocks” to listening are
simply us listening to our own thinking rather than the thinking of the
speaker!
No matter, simply notice what is distracting you from being present
with the speaker and clear your head of your own chatter and come back to
listening with curiosity about how this person sees life. You will find that
boredom disappears, and knowing the “right” thing to say occurs as an insight,
and rapport deepens, and understanding deepens, and communication is effortless
and creative and empowering.”
~ From: “Listening”,
by Laura Basha, Ph.D., 2007
© White Bird Rising, 2013
